5) “Mother” by Danzig

While the song was probably written as a rhetorical challenge to parents and a warning against the dangers of censorship, the thought of Glenn Danzig anywhere near MY mother needs to come with a big, fat, Tipper Gore-sized warning label.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

4) “Mother” by John Lennon

Beginning with the ominous tolling of funeral bells which signified  his own mother’s death at the hands of a drunk driver, Lennon’s “Mother” features the line ”Mother, you had me/but I never had you,” and nearly a minute of guttural screaming.  One could argue that in general, Mother’s Day should be a pleasant affair.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

3) “Mother” by Pink Floyd

What’s the worst thing any mother can possibly do to their child?  Why, participating in the construction of The Wall, of course!  Throw in “making all of your nightmares come true” and some heavy-handed tampering with your sex life, and you’ve pretty much created the perfect blueprint for a perfectly shitty Mother’s Day.  It didn’t really need to be that high.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

2) “The Kids” by Lou Reed

The story goes that the screaming children effect at 5:17 of “The Kids” was produced by Bob Ezrin telling his children that their mother had just been killed in a horrific accident.  If the heart-wrenching cries of children weren’t enough to warrant the song’s inclusion on the list, the lines“They’re taking her children away/because of the things she did in the streets/In the alleys and bars, no she couldn’t be beat/that miserable rotten slut couldn’t turn anyone away,” surely would.  Leave this one off your Mother’s Day rotation, kids.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

1) “The End” by The Doors

The only thing less appropriate to the spirit of Mother’s Day then Glenn Danzig is probably Oedipus.  And the only thing less appropriate to the spirit of Oedipus is probably sordid tales of Jim Morrison doing similar deeds.  Your Mother’s Day picnic would probably come off much better without this particular father-killing, mother-screwing romp serving as the mood music.