By Dr. Rooster McAwesome
Alia Sabur, the world’s youngest professor (which she attained at 19, beating out 16th-century overachiever Colin Maclaurin for the all-time record), made the news today when she announced she had figured out how to plug the BP oil pipe and thus save the world. Her plan, dubbed “seabed retread”, involves inflating tires within the undersea pipe to stop the flow of oil. Many geniuses get inspiration from odd places, and Ms. Sabur is no exception. “I like to draw dicks,” she told me during our interview earlier today.




