Twitter | What To Think

FAN MAIL: Spotlight on Very Concerned School Teacher

August 3, 2010 By Guest Reviewer Scum 5 Comments

WTTW, on behalf of your readers, writers and staff, I would like to tell you how incensed I am by your website. My twelve year old son came across WTTW a couple of days ago (he was supposed to be researching Jesse Jackson online) and I have spent literally hours poring over this disgusting, revolting excuse you call a web site, trying to feverishly grasp what would inspire such insipid, evil nonsense. HOW DARE you speak such HATEFUL, VILE words on this superhighway we call “the internet.” I literally cried for the thousands upon thousands of broken hearts in the world you have undoubtedly created.

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Filed Under: Articles, Guest Reviewer Scum Tagged With: Birds-And-The-Bees, Catholic, Facebook, Fucking, Hairy-Ballsack, Howard Stern, Jesse Jackson, Jesus, ladyboys, LSD, Men's Asses, Menstruation, Paul Giamatti, Pauly Pumpkins, rape, Saints, sally struthers, Schlong, School Teacher, Son, St. Francis of Assisi, Teacher, Twitter

WARNING: This Brown Bag Contains Awesome Advice

May 13, 2010 By Guest Reviewer Scum 3 Comments

I'm a doctor!

By Dr. Rooster McAwesome

As you may have gathered from my byline, I am a doctor. This means that, in addition to having a huge salary, a mansion, a gorgeous young wife with perfect knockers, and a teenage mistress with slightly better knockers (that my wife totally knows about and is cool with!), I am much more intelligent and gracious than you non-doctors. That’s why, when I see a nice story on the secret doctor news website about a fiscally responsible Wisconsin gubernatorial candidate, I think, “Wisconsin?! Who cares? It’s basically Canada.” But immediately afterward I think, “Wow, I like this guy. Now what can I do to help him out?” That, my friends, is what separates me from your Average-Joe-Keystone-Light-30-pack. So what follows is my advice, as a doctor and a genius, to Scott Walker.

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